I am just going to write when I can without a format because I don't have the time these days, but don't want to abandon this blog altogether.
I am feeling the need to brag about my children today!
Jack got an activity dry erase book from Claire for his birthday last month. There are various activities involving tracing, counting, drawing, etc. Today, we did a counting activity where he had to count a specific insect in a picture of many different kinds of insects and write the number in the box. He did this with very little help from me. He knew how to form the numbers by himself. I helped him count a little bit because he still calls '7', 'eleven' and then gets confused with the sequence from there. I was so proud of him! And yesterday he wrote his name by himself on a tracing of his body that we did on the kitchen floor.
He's also a really nice kid. His friend was crying at the park today and he went up to her, put his arm around her and asked her if she wanted to play with him. He's concerned when people are upset.
The other night, Tommy's friend came over to install a light fixture in our dining room. Jack was fascinated by him. They were in the kitchen together and the guy laughed at something Tommy said. Jack came running in to tell me 'the light man is laughing Mommy! That funny?"
Mallie has been learning so much from Jack lately. He learned a hand-washing song at school called 'Tops and Bottoms'. Anytime we sing it, she rubs her hands together and does the motions with us. She knows her body parts, too. She's known her tummy and belly button for a couple months now. But, she's starting to learn mouth, nose, hair, feet and hands.
She has been such a snuggle bunny today too. SHe keeps reaching up for me and giving me huge bear hugs and just laying on my shoulder. Sometimes she sings or talks to me while she's laying there too. It's very sweet.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
October 3rd, 2008
It has been another long span of time since I've written last. I hate to let the funny or sweet things that happen here every day slip away without recording them. I just cannot find the time to sit down to write every day.
Baby #3 is due here in 28 days- although I'm pretty sure it will not be that long. We are getting very excited and VERY organized. I have a strong feeling that this baby is going to make our family feel very complete, at least for the time-being. My pregnancy has been relatively easy and painless. I've enjoyed it- up until recently when I started feeling as though I cannot move! I cannot wait to meet him/her.
Jack: Jack started school a month ago at St. Angela's Preschool. He loves it and had no problem going his first day- although I cried the whole way home after dropping him off. A quote I heard once as a teacher stuck with me- that once a child starts school, his parents are not his only influence in life anymore. And, that was hard for me to let go! His teachers are "another is Mr. Achetti and my other one is Mr. Kreuger" (as he puts it). Which, loosely translated means: One is Mrs. Pacetti and the other one is Mrs. Kreuger.
A firefighter came into his class the other day and he was nervous about the gas mask the guy tried on for the kids. This mask must have been connected to an oxygen pack on his back because Jack told me that night that the firefighter had 'hair in his backpack' (while pointing to his hair). It took me a while to figure out that he meant 'air'. Jack must have been very confused as to why the guy was walking around putting out fires with hair in his backpack.
He has a friend there named Danny, who he calls his 'new Danny', not to be confused with the 'old' cousin Danny (who is 3!!). The new Danny seems to miss his mom on some days, and Jack gives me that report as soon as he gets in the car. 'The new Danny was crying today". And then proceeds to tell me, in his sweetest voice, that he told him 'Don't worry, your mom will be right back.'
This sweet voice is the same one he uses on Mallie when she is crying. He calls her 'honey' sometimes or tells her to 'go find mom' in this high-pitched, honey-coated voice. He is usually pretty nice to Mallie. There are moments, of course that he gets frustrated when she takes his toys, usually. He yells at her or pushes her. But, for the most part, he enjoys her and thinks she's funny. He is trying to teach her how to talk. She really does try to repeat him more than anyone else. He had her saying 'diaper' clear as a bell the other day. He was trying to teach her how to catch a while ago. He kept saying 'Hold out your hands, like this' and then threw the ball at her, hitting her square in the chest. At which point, he'd say, 'Ahhh! No, Mallie. You can't do this. If you catch it I will give you some gum!'. Apparently, Tommy's been bribing him with gum when teaching him how to catch!!!
He wanted a basketball birthday party this year, so we went to the party store to buy the supplies. A half hour before the party, he changed his mind and wanted a football party. So, the following day (on his real b-day), I cut out footballs to tape over the basketballs in the garland and Tommy got a football ice cream cake for him. This was all well and good. However, Jack thought that he was 4 at his football party, since he had turned 3 the day before at his basketball party. It was very confusing and took a while to straighten out.
The following day, we were driving to his 3 year old check up at the doctor and I was trying to explain that Dr. Skoch was going to look in his ears and eyes and listen to his heart. For some reason he thought this was both the most ridiculous and hilarious thing he'd ever heard and, exasperated, he laughed, "You got to be kidding me! Yes, yes, you kidding me!"
At night when I put him to bed, we say prayers and then I sing him Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and say 'Good night little Bubba. I love you'. And he responds, "Good night little Mommy'. (It's my favorite!)
Mallie: Mallie is a character. She is very, very sweet and very, very sassy. She knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it. She thinks her brother and father are hilarious and loves to hang out with them. She is trying to dance when they listen to music. She needs to work on her moves a little bit. There is a lot of arm-swinging and attempts to jump up and down (which usually result in her falling on her butt). She was walking about a week before her birthday and is everywhere now. She has a very determined gait. She bee-lines to whatever grabs her attention, usually with a toy cel phone held to her hear, barking 'Huh!?' (which sounds a lot like 'hello?') Mallie also loves to accessorize, which was something that surprised me early on. It amazes me how 'girly' she can be already! She loves walking around with sunglasses or hats on.
Mallie's favorite person on Earth is her Yaya. When she sees her Yaya, she immediately puts her arms up in the air, her eyes to the ground and makes a mad dash for her to pick her up, whining the whole way. Yaya loves this, and ALWAYS picks her up and then proceeds to kiss her a million times on her cheek or neck, while Mallie stands still as a statue. Claire and I find this display disgustingly sweet and have a hard time watching Mallie being spoiled from the inside out.
Mallie is in a reading mode right now. She loves books. If there is a book lying around, she will pick it up and bring it to whomever can read it to her. She thinks 'Red Hat, Green Hat" is hilarious and 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' is another favorite.
She is trying to talk desperately. She says, Mama, Dada, Jack (Jaaa- she almost whispers it), Baba, Book (Buh), Mooo (for a cow), barks when she sees dogs (or really any animal!!), makes a fish mouth for fish, 'baaah!' for Bye! (like a little southern belle!), 'paaa' for pacifier and 'muh' for more. She knows where her tummy and nose are. She will go and get anything you ask her to (diapers, wipes, bottles, toys, books, etc.) Her level of understanding is much higher than her expression right now, which must be frustrating. But, once she really gets talking, she'll have a LOT to say!!!
She loves to give bear hugs and kisses and is the best hugger ever. She'll put her head down on your shoulder and pat your back with her little hand. She is also a rough little thing and loves it when her daddy roughs her up. She jumps on the beds and couches and does face plants and thinks it's hilarious. She also waves to EVERYONE- especially in church or at the store. People love her everywhere we go. And she is interested in them, too. She is an excellent fake crier, also. She can go from whining/ frowning to interested and alert in no time, if she's faking. It's pretty funny to see.
Mallie LOVES to eat. She polishes off almost any dinner we put in front of her. I do not have to make her a seperate meal. And sometimes, she even finishes Jack's! In the morning, she sits in her seat at the table and when the waffle pops out of the toaster, she starts kicking and laughing and pointing! It's a very exciting time of day! She actually laughs a lot when she's eating. It's pure enjoyment!
I must admit that I'm having more fun dressing Mallie than I thought I would. Girl clothes are pretty fun to shop for and her outfits are great. Now that fall is here- we have entered tights season...which is my favorite and Tommy's worst nightmare, as he has STILL not learned how to put them on properly. If he changes her diaper, she inevitably comes down with bare legs.
With these two little characters running around the house, I can only think of what this next one is going to be like. I can't wait to see his/her personality and how it fits in to our household. It's very exciting. Jack thinks this is a girl baby and wants to name it 'Friend'. That's a little hippy for me.... but at least he's excited about it too!
Baby #3 is due here in 28 days- although I'm pretty sure it will not be that long. We are getting very excited and VERY organized. I have a strong feeling that this baby is going to make our family feel very complete, at least for the time-being. My pregnancy has been relatively easy and painless. I've enjoyed it- up until recently when I started feeling as though I cannot move! I cannot wait to meet him/her.
Jack: Jack started school a month ago at St. Angela's Preschool. He loves it and had no problem going his first day- although I cried the whole way home after dropping him off. A quote I heard once as a teacher stuck with me- that once a child starts school, his parents are not his only influence in life anymore. And, that was hard for me to let go! His teachers are "another is Mr. Achetti and my other one is Mr. Kreuger" (as he puts it). Which, loosely translated means: One is Mrs. Pacetti and the other one is Mrs. Kreuger.
A firefighter came into his class the other day and he was nervous about the gas mask the guy tried on for the kids. This mask must have been connected to an oxygen pack on his back because Jack told me that night that the firefighter had 'hair in his backpack' (while pointing to his hair). It took me a while to figure out that he meant 'air'. Jack must have been very confused as to why the guy was walking around putting out fires with hair in his backpack.
He has a friend there named Danny, who he calls his 'new Danny', not to be confused with the 'old' cousin Danny (who is 3!!). The new Danny seems to miss his mom on some days, and Jack gives me that report as soon as he gets in the car. 'The new Danny was crying today". And then proceeds to tell me, in his sweetest voice, that he told him 'Don't worry, your mom will be right back.'
This sweet voice is the same one he uses on Mallie when she is crying. He calls her 'honey' sometimes or tells her to 'go find mom' in this high-pitched, honey-coated voice. He is usually pretty nice to Mallie. There are moments, of course that he gets frustrated when she takes his toys, usually. He yells at her or pushes her. But, for the most part, he enjoys her and thinks she's funny. He is trying to teach her how to talk. She really does try to repeat him more than anyone else. He had her saying 'diaper' clear as a bell the other day. He was trying to teach her how to catch a while ago. He kept saying 'Hold out your hands, like this' and then threw the ball at her, hitting her square in the chest. At which point, he'd say, 'Ahhh! No, Mallie. You can't do this. If you catch it I will give you some gum!'. Apparently, Tommy's been bribing him with gum when teaching him how to catch!!!
He wanted a basketball birthday party this year, so we went to the party store to buy the supplies. A half hour before the party, he changed his mind and wanted a football party. So, the following day (on his real b-day), I cut out footballs to tape over the basketballs in the garland and Tommy got a football ice cream cake for him. This was all well and good. However, Jack thought that he was 4 at his football party, since he had turned 3 the day before at his basketball party. It was very confusing and took a while to straighten out.
The following day, we were driving to his 3 year old check up at the doctor and I was trying to explain that Dr. Skoch was going to look in his ears and eyes and listen to his heart. For some reason he thought this was both the most ridiculous and hilarious thing he'd ever heard and, exasperated, he laughed, "You got to be kidding me! Yes, yes, you kidding me!"
At night when I put him to bed, we say prayers and then I sing him Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and say 'Good night little Bubba. I love you'. And he responds, "Good night little Mommy'. (It's my favorite!)
Mallie: Mallie is a character. She is very, very sweet and very, very sassy. She knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it. She thinks her brother and father are hilarious and loves to hang out with them. She is trying to dance when they listen to music. She needs to work on her moves a little bit. There is a lot of arm-swinging and attempts to jump up and down (which usually result in her falling on her butt). She was walking about a week before her birthday and is everywhere now. She has a very determined gait. She bee-lines to whatever grabs her attention, usually with a toy cel phone held to her hear, barking 'Huh!?' (which sounds a lot like 'hello?') Mallie also loves to accessorize, which was something that surprised me early on. It amazes me how 'girly' she can be already! She loves walking around with sunglasses or hats on.
Mallie's favorite person on Earth is her Yaya. When she sees her Yaya, she immediately puts her arms up in the air, her eyes to the ground and makes a mad dash for her to pick her up, whining the whole way. Yaya loves this, and ALWAYS picks her up and then proceeds to kiss her a million times on her cheek or neck, while Mallie stands still as a statue. Claire and I find this display disgustingly sweet and have a hard time watching Mallie being spoiled from the inside out.
Mallie is in a reading mode right now. She loves books. If there is a book lying around, she will pick it up and bring it to whomever can read it to her. She thinks 'Red Hat, Green Hat" is hilarious and 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' is another favorite.
She is trying to talk desperately. She says, Mama, Dada, Jack (Jaaa- she almost whispers it), Baba, Book (Buh), Mooo (for a cow), barks when she sees dogs (or really any animal!!), makes a fish mouth for fish, 'baaah!' for Bye! (like a little southern belle!), 'paaa' for pacifier and 'muh' for more. She knows where her tummy and nose are. She will go and get anything you ask her to (diapers, wipes, bottles, toys, books, etc.) Her level of understanding is much higher than her expression right now, which must be frustrating. But, once she really gets talking, she'll have a LOT to say!!!
She loves to give bear hugs and kisses and is the best hugger ever. She'll put her head down on your shoulder and pat your back with her little hand. She is also a rough little thing and loves it when her daddy roughs her up. She jumps on the beds and couches and does face plants and thinks it's hilarious. She also waves to EVERYONE- especially in church or at the store. People love her everywhere we go. And she is interested in them, too. She is an excellent fake crier, also. She can go from whining/ frowning to interested and alert in no time, if she's faking. It's pretty funny to see.
Mallie LOVES to eat. She polishes off almost any dinner we put in front of her. I do not have to make her a seperate meal. And sometimes, she even finishes Jack's! In the morning, she sits in her seat at the table and when the waffle pops out of the toaster, she starts kicking and laughing and pointing! It's a very exciting time of day! She actually laughs a lot when she's eating. It's pure enjoyment!
I must admit that I'm having more fun dressing Mallie than I thought I would. Girl clothes are pretty fun to shop for and her outfits are great. Now that fall is here- we have entered tights season...which is my favorite and Tommy's worst nightmare, as he has STILL not learned how to put them on properly. If he changes her diaper, she inevitably comes down with bare legs.
With these two little characters running around the house, I can only think of what this next one is going to be like. I can't wait to see his/her personality and how it fits in to our household. It's very exciting. Jack thinks this is a girl baby and wants to name it 'Friend'. That's a little hippy for me.... but at least he's excited about it too!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Friday, June 20th, 2008
Most grateful moment: My cousin, Hannah, came over this morning to help me with the kids. When I realized that today was the day she was coming, I bounced out of bed like a kid on Christmas. She was able to take them outside and occupy them while I went to the grocery store by myself and organized the upstairs of my house. This is the first time I have felt slightly in control of my surroundings in the past few weeks and it was like a breath of fresh air. I am looking forward to her weekly visits this summer!!!
One thing I learned today: Tommy and I were flipping through the channels last night and stopped on the religious channel for some reason. It was a show geared toward teenagers, hosted by a young guys (probably in his 30's). He was so enthusiastic and insightful and really had a wealth of stories (both religious and not) up his sleeve to prove every point he was making. I'm not sure what I learned from him, exactly- but I kind of sat in awe/ envy of him as we watched. I wish I had that way with words to uplift people- especially that population.
One moment I wish I could re-do: I wish I could stop putting pressure on myself. I am noticing how hard I am being on myself- i feel like it's a constant stream of negative comments to myself going on in my head all day. 'You should be playing with Mallie', "You should be reading to Jack", "You haven't cleaned the bathroom floor in 2 weeks", "Your car is full of trash and needs to be vacuumed out'- it just seems to go on, and on and on. There are many, many things that I should be critiquing myself about, but probably 90% of the things that I am, are not important and end up putting me in a horrible mind-set- which usually leads to snappy interactions with my kids.
Best life tip: Make sure your husband is your best friend. I feel like I've been taking Tommy for granted...not on day-to-day things, but overall. I haven't been relying on him as my best friend and the person who has my back in every situation- which he is. I need to remember that and make sure I am that person for him.
Biggest laugh of the day: Several today: This morning, Jack took a toy away from Mallie as she was standing at the living room table. Just as Claire was about to tell him to give it back, Mallie threw a sock at Jack and gave him a stern yelling at, to go along with a very angry and stern look. It was hilarious and I think it even startled Jack.
Jack has been saying some seriously funny stuff lately: He's been calling me by my first name regularly. Today, as he was running down the street, I called for him to come back and he told me, "I'm COMING ERIN!!!" Last night, Tommy was trying to get him in the car as he ran around the back yard. Tommy said, "Let's go Jack!' to which Jack replied, "You're killing me man!" I bought him a tricycle today to try to bride him with potty training. Tonight he was riding it around the living room and he stopped and got off and said "Thank you for getting this bicycle for me at the store Mommy. You are so SMART!"
Best Tommy moment: I've been complaining to Tommy about a family situation lately. Today he finally acknowledged my annoyance and confirmed that fact that I might have a point. It was validating. Again, he always has my back even when it takes him a while to realize it.
Best Jack moment: Jack's eczema on his legs has been acting up. Tonight it was causing him pain for the first time. So I put some of his lotion on it. When I was finished putting it on, he stood up and gave me a big hug. He said, "Mommy, you the greatest doctor. You make me feel better!" It was so enthusiastic and from his heart!!!
Best Mallie moment: Mallie is definately a ham. Hannah was putting her big sunglasses on her and instead of ripping them off and eating them like a normal baby would- Mallie froze and turned her little head toward her audience. Then she gave a light smile and just posed there for several minutes. She loves dressing up.
*Last week, Mallie stood by herself for several seconds. She is really thinking about standing and taking steps- although she knows she can move much faster with her side-crawl. She is fully able to crawl the right way, but gets around faster the way she does it. She is also saying Mama and Dada sometimes. Tommy walked in the other night from work and she defiantely looked at him and pointed and said "DADA!!!"
One thing I learned today: Tommy and I were flipping through the channels last night and stopped on the religious channel for some reason. It was a show geared toward teenagers, hosted by a young guys (probably in his 30's). He was so enthusiastic and insightful and really had a wealth of stories (both religious and not) up his sleeve to prove every point he was making. I'm not sure what I learned from him, exactly- but I kind of sat in awe/ envy of him as we watched. I wish I had that way with words to uplift people- especially that population.
One moment I wish I could re-do: I wish I could stop putting pressure on myself. I am noticing how hard I am being on myself- i feel like it's a constant stream of negative comments to myself going on in my head all day. 'You should be playing with Mallie', "You should be reading to Jack", "You haven't cleaned the bathroom floor in 2 weeks", "Your car is full of trash and needs to be vacuumed out'- it just seems to go on, and on and on. There are many, many things that I should be critiquing myself about, but probably 90% of the things that I am, are not important and end up putting me in a horrible mind-set- which usually leads to snappy interactions with my kids.
Best life tip: Make sure your husband is your best friend. I feel like I've been taking Tommy for granted...not on day-to-day things, but overall. I haven't been relying on him as my best friend and the person who has my back in every situation- which he is. I need to remember that and make sure I am that person for him.
Biggest laugh of the day: Several today: This morning, Jack took a toy away from Mallie as she was standing at the living room table. Just as Claire was about to tell him to give it back, Mallie threw a sock at Jack and gave him a stern yelling at, to go along with a very angry and stern look. It was hilarious and I think it even startled Jack.
Jack has been saying some seriously funny stuff lately: He's been calling me by my first name regularly. Today, as he was running down the street, I called for him to come back and he told me, "I'm COMING ERIN!!!" Last night, Tommy was trying to get him in the car as he ran around the back yard. Tommy said, "Let's go Jack!' to which Jack replied, "You're killing me man!" I bought him a tricycle today to try to bride him with potty training. Tonight he was riding it around the living room and he stopped and got off and said "Thank you for getting this bicycle for me at the store Mommy. You are so SMART!"
Best Tommy moment: I've been complaining to Tommy about a family situation lately. Today he finally acknowledged my annoyance and confirmed that fact that I might have a point. It was validating. Again, he always has my back even when it takes him a while to realize it.
Best Jack moment: Jack's eczema on his legs has been acting up. Tonight it was causing him pain for the first time. So I put some of his lotion on it. When I was finished putting it on, he stood up and gave me a big hug. He said, "Mommy, you the greatest doctor. You make me feel better!" It was so enthusiastic and from his heart!!!
Best Mallie moment: Mallie is definately a ham. Hannah was putting her big sunglasses on her and instead of ripping them off and eating them like a normal baby would- Mallie froze and turned her little head toward her audience. Then she gave a light smile and just posed there for several minutes. She loves dressing up.
*Last week, Mallie stood by herself for several seconds. She is really thinking about standing and taking steps- although she knows she can move much faster with her side-crawl. She is fully able to crawl the right way, but gets around faster the way she does it. She is also saying Mama and Dada sometimes. Tommy walked in the other night from work and she defiantely looked at him and pointed and said "DADA!!!"
Monday, June 16, 2008
Monday, June 16th, 2008
I cannot believe that the last time I tried to write was June 1st. It feels like it was this morning that I sat down and got interrupted after the first sentence....and in fact, 15 days have passed!? This is how things seem to be going around here though. I've been feeling like things are spinning out of control and I'm having a hard time slowing them down and catching up- let alone getting the 'extra' things done that I'd like.
Although we've had a full week of illness going on here, which may explain my overall negative mood, I can't completely excuse it on that. I was feeling 'at the brink' before last week, too. And I don't really have an explanation for it. I've become so short-tempered! I NEVER thought I'd be the kind of mom to swat at my kids and shout at them or say mean things. But it looks like I have become just that. For the last couple weeks, I've hated looking back at my day and some of the things I've said to Jack or the ways I've handled situations with him. I am smart, and good at diffusing temper-tantrums, distraction, humor....all the things that would work better than what I've been doing. But I feel like I've become lazy and just fall back on allowing myself to do whatever comes naturally- which in the face of frustration and annoyance, is the worst thing I can be doing.
I am scrambling to get an hour, a minute, a second to myself during the day- to sit and eat a bowl of cereal or check my email or SHOWER. Most of the time these things don't happen. I am crabby if the kids don't nap together, or at the exact moment I want them to....and then if they do, I am crabby when they have the audacity to wake up.
I am not stimulating Jack or Mallie with games or reading or crafts. I am doing the bare minimum. And speaking of things I am not doing- there is a LONG list that I go through in my mind about 1,000 times a day. Every time I recite the list, or add a new item, I become ancy, anxious, annoyed....but I never have a time window to begin on the list- and if I do, I rarely do anything anyways, because I am almost resigned to the fact that the list will never be accomplished anyways.
Here are some of the items on this list:
-get house ready to put on the market (painting, de-cluttering, cleaning closets, cleaning cabinets, organizing basement, weeding yard, making flyers, taking pictures, etc, etc., etc., etc.)
-clean out my car (may not sound like a big deal, but trust me....)
-order all pictures of kids on photo website (dating back to Jack's 1st b-day party)
-catch up on Jack's scrapbook
-begin Mallie's scrapbook
-write something, anything down about this pregnancy, as I have the other 2, so that this baby can read it some day, like the other 2.
-clip coupons
-organize grocery shopping so that I am not buying duplicates, not wasting, using what I have.
-start cooking and freezing meals for when the baby is born
-take inventory of kids' clothes in order to buy summer clothes for them.
-LAUNDRY
-start reading 'A New Earth'
-educate myself on the household finances and the program Tommy made for us
This is a very, very small snip-it of the things I like in my own head daily....usually during the 12 minutes I have free, which I spend sitting on the couch, watching TV.
I feel caught between two philosophies of motherhood. One, introduced to me by my sister's friend: housework and other miscellaneous tasks come far, far down the list of priorities behind stimulating and entertaining your child. Dishes pile up, floors go unwashed, laundry stays dirty. You spend your day with your child, engaging them, playing, stimulating, reading, crafting, imagining. And you don't worry about anything else because being a mom is your job. Not being a maid. The second, is reinforced to me every time I watch my newest favorite show "Jon and Kate +8". The mom on this show has a set of 6 year-old twins and 3 year-old sextuplets...for a grand total of 8 kids. Mind you, it is a TV show, so I'm sure we aren't seeing it ALL. But this girl is TOGETHER. Washing floors after every meal, wiping every surface down, 3-4 loads of laundry per day, cooking every meal- organically, kids are clean and dressed well.
I want both of these worlds and I do try. But at 10 a.m., when I've spent the last 30 minutes cleaning the kitchen after breakfast from 2 kids, vaccuming the floors and throwing in one load of laundry (barely making a real dent in what really needs to be done around here!) both of my kids are whining and crying for attention, or watching Elmo- not being stimulated by me- and then the guilt sinks in because I'm doing things that are unimportant instead of spending time with them. So, we spend time doing a craft or playing a game...and in 30 minutes, the house is a disaster again and I'm feeling like I can't breath because the anxiety is building because the mental list is building. And then I start snapping at the kids because of my own frustration and 'why can't they just clean up after themselves?" and then I realize that Jack is 2 and Mallie is 10 months old and then the guilt begins for being so short-tempered with them.
Then I think about people with 3 kids who work full time and don't have a husband. How do they do it? And what the hell am I complaining about? What about the moms living in Africa without any amenities, who have sick kids they're trying to care for? I mean, really, what am I feeling anxious about? I do think of these things several times a day, but sometimes they don't stick and I allow myself to spiral.
I think that's enough for this post. Just a lot of venting after a few tough weeks.
Although we've had a full week of illness going on here, which may explain my overall negative mood, I can't completely excuse it on that. I was feeling 'at the brink' before last week, too. And I don't really have an explanation for it. I've become so short-tempered! I NEVER thought I'd be the kind of mom to swat at my kids and shout at them or say mean things. But it looks like I have become just that. For the last couple weeks, I've hated looking back at my day and some of the things I've said to Jack or the ways I've handled situations with him. I am smart, and good at diffusing temper-tantrums, distraction, humor....all the things that would work better than what I've been doing. But I feel like I've become lazy and just fall back on allowing myself to do whatever comes naturally- which in the face of frustration and annoyance, is the worst thing I can be doing.
I am scrambling to get an hour, a minute, a second to myself during the day- to sit and eat a bowl of cereal or check my email or SHOWER. Most of the time these things don't happen. I am crabby if the kids don't nap together, or at the exact moment I want them to....and then if they do, I am crabby when they have the audacity to wake up.
I am not stimulating Jack or Mallie with games or reading or crafts. I am doing the bare minimum. And speaking of things I am not doing- there is a LONG list that I go through in my mind about 1,000 times a day. Every time I recite the list, or add a new item, I become ancy, anxious, annoyed....but I never have a time window to begin on the list- and if I do, I rarely do anything anyways, because I am almost resigned to the fact that the list will never be accomplished anyways.
Here are some of the items on this list:
-get house ready to put on the market (painting, de-cluttering, cleaning closets, cleaning cabinets, organizing basement, weeding yard, making flyers, taking pictures, etc, etc., etc., etc.)
-clean out my car (may not sound like a big deal, but trust me....)
-order all pictures of kids on photo website (dating back to Jack's 1st b-day party)
-catch up on Jack's scrapbook
-begin Mallie's scrapbook
-write something, anything down about this pregnancy, as I have the other 2, so that this baby can read it some day, like the other 2.
-clip coupons
-organize grocery shopping so that I am not buying duplicates, not wasting, using what I have.
-start cooking and freezing meals for when the baby is born
-take inventory of kids' clothes in order to buy summer clothes for them.
-LAUNDRY
-start reading 'A New Earth'
-educate myself on the household finances and the program Tommy made for us
This is a very, very small snip-it of the things I like in my own head daily....usually during the 12 minutes I have free, which I spend sitting on the couch, watching TV.
I feel caught between two philosophies of motherhood. One, introduced to me by my sister's friend: housework and other miscellaneous tasks come far, far down the list of priorities behind stimulating and entertaining your child. Dishes pile up, floors go unwashed, laundry stays dirty. You spend your day with your child, engaging them, playing, stimulating, reading, crafting, imagining. And you don't worry about anything else because being a mom is your job. Not being a maid. The second, is reinforced to me every time I watch my newest favorite show "Jon and Kate +8". The mom on this show has a set of 6 year-old twins and 3 year-old sextuplets...for a grand total of 8 kids. Mind you, it is a TV show, so I'm sure we aren't seeing it ALL. But this girl is TOGETHER. Washing floors after every meal, wiping every surface down, 3-4 loads of laundry per day, cooking every meal- organically, kids are clean and dressed well.
I want both of these worlds and I do try. But at 10 a.m., when I've spent the last 30 minutes cleaning the kitchen after breakfast from 2 kids, vaccuming the floors and throwing in one load of laundry (barely making a real dent in what really needs to be done around here!) both of my kids are whining and crying for attention, or watching Elmo- not being stimulated by me- and then the guilt sinks in because I'm doing things that are unimportant instead of spending time with them. So, we spend time doing a craft or playing a game...and in 30 minutes, the house is a disaster again and I'm feeling like I can't breath because the anxiety is building because the mental list is building. And then I start snapping at the kids because of my own frustration and 'why can't they just clean up after themselves?" and then I realize that Jack is 2 and Mallie is 10 months old and then the guilt begins for being so short-tempered with them.
Then I think about people with 3 kids who work full time and don't have a husband. How do they do it? And what the hell am I complaining about? What about the moms living in Africa without any amenities, who have sick kids they're trying to care for? I mean, really, what am I feeling anxious about? I do think of these things several times a day, but sometimes they don't stick and I allow myself to spiral.
I think that's enough for this post. Just a lot of venting after a few tough weeks.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Sunday, June 1st, 2008
Most grateful moment of the day: We have had a GREAT weekend together!!! Yesterday, we all went to the bank and deposited our savings into a CD to start officially saving for our new house.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
Most grateful moment: I have a couple today! I was so grateful that our playgroup met at our house this morning. I have been looking forward to getting together with them so much lately. And this week- especially, due to the fact that we haven't left the house with Jack potty training. It's been a long few days and seeing everyone made this day go much faster. Kim is also potty training Kylie, so it was nice to commiserate with her, too!
I was also so happy to get out tonight with my aunt, mom, sister and cousin. I lined up a baby-sitter and met them for dinner. It was great to sit, relax and chat. Di's wedding is coming up and it was so much fun to talk about it and get excited!!!
I was also very grateful to come home and put my kids to bed and have a few hours of alone time, with Tommy at the Tribe game tonight!
One thing I learned today: I learned that potty training a toddler is an all-consuming event. I never thought that my emotional highs and lows could truly be dictated by the toilet habits of my 2 year-old, but they are. When he went poop today without a fight in his potty, I was seriously on Cloud 9. And when he had an accident, I was completely deflated. There must be an under-lying issue here....but I'm too busy running him up and down the stairs and washing his hands every 20 minutes to figure it out.
One moment I wish I could re-do: This is stupid because I know in my heart and head that I desperately needed to get out tonight. However, I wish I hadn't gone. Mallie was freaking out the whole time I was gone and the sitter had to call me home at 8:30. And it interfered with Jack's potty routine. I wish I had had the strength/ stamina to make it one more night on my own. Tommy will be home for the first time this week at the regular time.
Best life tip: Take a minute to enjoy your pregnancy every day! My friend, who had a miscarriage last year and is pregnant again, was talking about holding a friend's newborn yesterday. She said that as she held this little baby, how excited and happy she was to be pregnant because she knew that cuddly time was just around the corner for her again! It made me excited too- for her- and for my own new baby on the way! I think I let days go by without getting myself psyched up for this new one!
Biggest laugh of the day: Charlie was over for playgroup. Olivia wasn't feeling well and was crying pretty hard at some points. Charlie leaned over to her and said, 'Olivia, settle down. Settle down.' This didn't really settle Olivia down, but it made us all laugh.
Best Tommy moment: Tommy called to see if he could take Jack to the Indian's game on Sunday. My cousins, dad, and uncles are sitting in Dan's suite for the game to celebrate Kevin's bachelor party. And Tommy's first thought was to bring Jack. I thought it was the cutest thing and a perfect way for Jack to enjoy a game- since it was 'too loud on his ears' last year.
Best Jack moment: Jack went poop on the potty without a problem today and exclaimed that it was 'a big one', when he was finished. He also told me that he had to go potty before wetting his underpants this afternoon- which, to me, is the biggest step we've had so far!!!
Best Mallie moment: Mallie is being completely neglected this week in the shadow of this potty issue. I have interrupted her bottles, her baby food feedings, rocking her to sleep, her playing peacefully with a toy....all to take her big brother up to the potty. She is a wonderful sport about the whole thing.
She is also cracking Jack up (and vice versa) lately. She'll scoot in to the bathroom while he's going and poke her little head around the corner and grunt. He thinks it's hilarious and we call her the Monster Baby and run away from her, only for her to scoot after him and grunt again. They both get themselves into hysterics.
Mallie has 2 good sized teeth on the bottom now. She eats 2 baby food meals a day and about 4 bottles. She's getting huge! Her 9 month appointment is next week and I cannot wait to see how much she has grown!
Mallie waves when she is waved to and claps when other people clap or say 'yeaaaa!'. Tonight she cried for 2 hours for the baby-sitter, but as soon as I got home and held her, she was smiling and waving at her and doing her little 'doggy pant' that she does when she's happy with herself.
I was also so happy to get out tonight with my aunt, mom, sister and cousin. I lined up a baby-sitter and met them for dinner. It was great to sit, relax and chat. Di's wedding is coming up and it was so much fun to talk about it and get excited!!!
I was also very grateful to come home and put my kids to bed and have a few hours of alone time, with Tommy at the Tribe game tonight!
One thing I learned today: I learned that potty training a toddler is an all-consuming event. I never thought that my emotional highs and lows could truly be dictated by the toilet habits of my 2 year-old, but they are. When he went poop today without a fight in his potty, I was seriously on Cloud 9. And when he had an accident, I was completely deflated. There must be an under-lying issue here....but I'm too busy running him up and down the stairs and washing his hands every 20 minutes to figure it out.
One moment I wish I could re-do: This is stupid because I know in my heart and head that I desperately needed to get out tonight. However, I wish I hadn't gone. Mallie was freaking out the whole time I was gone and the sitter had to call me home at 8:30. And it interfered with Jack's potty routine. I wish I had had the strength/ stamina to make it one more night on my own. Tommy will be home for the first time this week at the regular time.
Best life tip: Take a minute to enjoy your pregnancy every day! My friend, who had a miscarriage last year and is pregnant again, was talking about holding a friend's newborn yesterday. She said that as she held this little baby, how excited and happy she was to be pregnant because she knew that cuddly time was just around the corner for her again! It made me excited too- for her- and for my own new baby on the way! I think I let days go by without getting myself psyched up for this new one!
Biggest laugh of the day: Charlie was over for playgroup. Olivia wasn't feeling well and was crying pretty hard at some points. Charlie leaned over to her and said, 'Olivia, settle down. Settle down.' This didn't really settle Olivia down, but it made us all laugh.
Best Tommy moment: Tommy called to see if he could take Jack to the Indian's game on Sunday. My cousins, dad, and uncles are sitting in Dan's suite for the game to celebrate Kevin's bachelor party. And Tommy's first thought was to bring Jack. I thought it was the cutest thing and a perfect way for Jack to enjoy a game- since it was 'too loud on his ears' last year.
Best Jack moment: Jack went poop on the potty without a problem today and exclaimed that it was 'a big one', when he was finished. He also told me that he had to go potty before wetting his underpants this afternoon- which, to me, is the biggest step we've had so far!!!
Best Mallie moment: Mallie is being completely neglected this week in the shadow of this potty issue. I have interrupted her bottles, her baby food feedings, rocking her to sleep, her playing peacefully with a toy....all to take her big brother up to the potty. She is a wonderful sport about the whole thing.
She is also cracking Jack up (and vice versa) lately. She'll scoot in to the bathroom while he's going and poke her little head around the corner and grunt. He thinks it's hilarious and we call her the Monster Baby and run away from her, only for her to scoot after him and grunt again. They both get themselves into hysterics.
Mallie has 2 good sized teeth on the bottom now. She eats 2 baby food meals a day and about 4 bottles. She's getting huge! Her 9 month appointment is next week and I cannot wait to see how much she has grown!
Mallie waves when she is waved to and claps when other people clap or say 'yeaaaa!'. Tonight she cried for 2 hours for the baby-sitter, but as soon as I got home and held her, she was smiling and waving at her and doing her little 'doggy pant' that she does when she's happy with herself.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Monday, March 25th, 2008
A lot has happened since the last post. 3 weeks ago we found out that we are expecting another baby at the end of October/ beginning of November. I feel like things have been a bit of a whirlwind since then. The house is falling apart because I'm not feeling up to cleaning during the day. We just had Easter weekend, which like all holidays around here involves preparation and lots of running around. It's been crazy!
Most grateful moment: When Tommy got home. It was a long day of being tired and not feeling great. It was a huge relief to see him walk in the door!
One thing I learned today: There is a new book called The Ten Year Nap out that I am dying to read. It is about 4 different women who are stay-at-home moms. When I heard the name of this book, I laughed out loud and almost started crying at the same time. It's such a perfect explanation of how I feel about this stage in my life. I feel like I am hibernating from the real world- hiding from the stresses and rigors of a business life or of being a teacher. To me, this is the plus side of it....But I also feel as though my brain is taking a nap and I am not as sharp as I was. It takes energy to keep your mind stimulated and learning and connecting and bright. Frankly, I don't have that energy right now. I feel like I pour it all into thinking about my kids' well-being and happiness and it leaves little time for my own intellect! In no way am I unhappy about where I am right now. But sometimes I worry that letting my brain take a 10 year nap is not good for it!
One moment I wish I could re-do: Eating jelly beans for breakfast. It set me out to a sluggish, nauseous day after a night of no sleep.
Best life tip: Reason with your toddler...don't demand. Tommy just went in to Jack's room for the 4th time in the last 15 minutes to quiet him down. Instead of just telling him to go to bed, he said "Listen, Mallie's not feeling well. I need you to be quiet so that she can get some rest and feel better". Jack said, "OK" and we haven't heard another peep out of him!
Biggest laugh of the day: At about 5:30 tonight, I finally went up to take a shower. When I came down I caught Jack off guard with my wet hair and different clothes. He ran up to me to hug me, but stopped short and stood in front of me awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. He started laughing his fake, forced laugh and said, 'Mommy, this shirt is funny", pointing at my sweatshirt. So I said 'Why is it funny?' and he must have felt bad or something because he gave me a hug and said 'No, Mommy, I love this shirt."
Best Tommy moment: I called Tommy at about 5:15 this afternoon. He was in the driveway and answered the phone anyway. I asked where he was and he said 'I'm in the driveway, did you know there are 2 cats next to the garage?'- as though we were going to battle. He came inside and opened the blinds and stared at the cats for several minutes, until the walked away. He then called me into the kitchen to check and see if the one cat was 'abnormally large'. To end the Day of the Cats, I was in Mallie's room putting her to bed. He poked his head in, with a victorious grin on his face and said, "Do you hear that? Something is getting that cat!" and with a fist pump he left the room. I'm not sure what the cats ever did to him, but he sure doesn't like them!
Best Jack moment: Claire took Jack on a little drive this morning. They stopped at the lake for a while and she looked back at him staring out of the window. She asked him what he was thinking about and he answered, "My mommy. I love her so much".
While I was out getting dinner, Tommy was talking to Jack about Mallie's new tooth that's coming in. (We had been making a big deal out of it earlier that afternoon). Tommy said they were sitting there chatting and Jack asked, "So Dad, will Mallie have teeth tomorrow?"
Best Mallie moment: Mallie's been struggling with a cold and a little bit of a fever all day. She was up all night last night... When Tommy got home tonight, he noticed that her first tooth is poking through! She's almost 8 months old, so we've been waiting for this!!!!
Most grateful moment: When Tommy got home. It was a long day of being tired and not feeling great. It was a huge relief to see him walk in the door!
One thing I learned today: There is a new book called The Ten Year Nap out that I am dying to read. It is about 4 different women who are stay-at-home moms. When I heard the name of this book, I laughed out loud and almost started crying at the same time. It's such a perfect explanation of how I feel about this stage in my life. I feel like I am hibernating from the real world- hiding from the stresses and rigors of a business life or of being a teacher. To me, this is the plus side of it....But I also feel as though my brain is taking a nap and I am not as sharp as I was. It takes energy to keep your mind stimulated and learning and connecting and bright. Frankly, I don't have that energy right now. I feel like I pour it all into thinking about my kids' well-being and happiness and it leaves little time for my own intellect! In no way am I unhappy about where I am right now. But sometimes I worry that letting my brain take a 10 year nap is not good for it!
One moment I wish I could re-do: Eating jelly beans for breakfast. It set me out to a sluggish, nauseous day after a night of no sleep.
Best life tip: Reason with your toddler...don't demand. Tommy just went in to Jack's room for the 4th time in the last 15 minutes to quiet him down. Instead of just telling him to go to bed, he said "Listen, Mallie's not feeling well. I need you to be quiet so that she can get some rest and feel better". Jack said, "OK" and we haven't heard another peep out of him!
Biggest laugh of the day: At about 5:30 tonight, I finally went up to take a shower. When I came down I caught Jack off guard with my wet hair and different clothes. He ran up to me to hug me, but stopped short and stood in front of me awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. He started laughing his fake, forced laugh and said, 'Mommy, this shirt is funny", pointing at my sweatshirt. So I said 'Why is it funny?' and he must have felt bad or something because he gave me a hug and said 'No, Mommy, I love this shirt."
Best Tommy moment: I called Tommy at about 5:15 this afternoon. He was in the driveway and answered the phone anyway. I asked where he was and he said 'I'm in the driveway, did you know there are 2 cats next to the garage?'- as though we were going to battle. He came inside and opened the blinds and stared at the cats for several minutes, until the walked away. He then called me into the kitchen to check and see if the one cat was 'abnormally large'. To end the Day of the Cats, I was in Mallie's room putting her to bed. He poked his head in, with a victorious grin on his face and said, "Do you hear that? Something is getting that cat!" and with a fist pump he left the room. I'm not sure what the cats ever did to him, but he sure doesn't like them!
Best Jack moment: Claire took Jack on a little drive this morning. They stopped at the lake for a while and she looked back at him staring out of the window. She asked him what he was thinking about and he answered, "My mommy. I love her so much".
While I was out getting dinner, Tommy was talking to Jack about Mallie's new tooth that's coming in. (We had been making a big deal out of it earlier that afternoon). Tommy said they were sitting there chatting and Jack asked, "So Dad, will Mallie have teeth tomorrow?"
Best Mallie moment: Mallie's been struggling with a cold and a little bit of a fever all day. She was up all night last night... When Tommy got home tonight, he noticed that her first tooth is poking through! She's almost 8 months old, so we've been waiting for this!!!!
Monday, March 10, 2008
March 10th, 2008
Most grateful moment: Finishing the dishes after dinner and looking at the plateful of cookies I made and realizing I had nothing else to do for the rest of the day but sit on the couch, play with the kids and eat cookies!!!
One thing I learned today: That Garmin was rated an undervalued stock in our Better Investing magazine. Interesting to me because I was under the impression that it was overvalued and worried about the stock we own in it.
One moment I wish I could redo: I wish I had figured out a time to get to the gym. I cannot wait to go tomorrow morning after almost 2 weeks away! UGGGG!
Best life tip: Listen to your kids. I've been trying to give Jack time to explain himself and express what he's trying to say lately and some wicked things are coming out of his mouth. Very funny and very interesting. He just needs time to get them out sometimes!!
Biggest laugh of the day: I've had many laughs today....most of them at the expense or due to Jack. I guess the biggest one would have been when he was standing on the scale this morning. He started screaching and complaining and I asked him what was wrong and he said 'I want it to go up here (pointing to the MUCH bigger number that appears when I stand on the scale) like you!" This was both the biggest laugh and biggest insult.
Best Tommy moment: Watching him shovel the snow in the driveway tonight when he got home from work. He looked very cute in his work clothes and glasses shoveling away.
Best Jack moment: There were a few. This morning he ran into the kitchen telling me that he had found 'A ANT!!!' I didn't really believe him, since it's mid-March and 2 feet of snow outside. But I followed him and he pointed out a spider. It was cute how his mind works and how he's relating concepts.
Tonight Jack went up to Mallie and gave her a big hug and told Tommy, "I love my sister'. For some reason, I decided to tell him that he is Mallie's brother and he's my son. He must have thought I was being funny and meant 'sun' so he continued the joke and started going around to all of us and calling us the names of innanimate objects. He said, "Mommy, you a basketball." "Daddy you a motorcycle", etc. It made us laugh.
Jack is also rereading, from memory, his favorite story. He says, "Scooby dooby moooo. Fa La la la baaaaa, whacka whacka quaaaack- the duck snored'.
Also, Jack has been 'helping' Mallie play basketball. He puts the ball in her lap for a split second, then takes it and shoots it 'for her'. If he makes it he celebrates for her and tells her, 'Mallie you make it!!!' If he misses, he turns to her to let her know 'Mallie, you miss it.'
Finally, in a potty training moment this afternoon, Jack was nowhere to be found. Tommy went upstairs and found him behind the shower curtain, reading his 'Little Grover Has to Go' potty book....and going in his diaper. This is considered a step in the right direction (that he was at least in the bathroom) when he went to the bathroom!!!
Jack sings the song 'Camptown Races' like this: 'Camptown Races sing this song: BOO-YA, BOO-YA. Camptown Races 5 miles long, Oh Boo-Ya Day'
Best Mallie moment: I probably have said this before....but Mallie is getting SASSY!!! She is a very pleasant little thing all day and happy, for the most part. But a whole different side of her comes out when Tommy gets home. He is rough with her and she LOVES it. He'll hold her hands and make her arms go up and down and dance and she thinks its the funniest thing. He tosses her around his lap, upside down and sideways, and she laughs. And he holds her above his head and screaches at her and she screaches back and smiles from ear to ear. She shouts at Jack and tries to get his attention or scolds him when he takes a toy from her. She is getting close to crawling and is going to be a force to be reckoned with when she does!
One thing I learned today: That Garmin was rated an undervalued stock in our Better Investing magazine. Interesting to me because I was under the impression that it was overvalued and worried about the stock we own in it.
One moment I wish I could redo: I wish I had figured out a time to get to the gym. I cannot wait to go tomorrow morning after almost 2 weeks away! UGGGG!
Best life tip: Listen to your kids. I've been trying to give Jack time to explain himself and express what he's trying to say lately and some wicked things are coming out of his mouth. Very funny and very interesting. He just needs time to get them out sometimes!!
Biggest laugh of the day: I've had many laughs today....most of them at the expense or due to Jack. I guess the biggest one would have been when he was standing on the scale this morning. He started screaching and complaining and I asked him what was wrong and he said 'I want it to go up here (pointing to the MUCH bigger number that appears when I stand on the scale) like you!" This was both the biggest laugh and biggest insult.
Best Tommy moment: Watching him shovel the snow in the driveway tonight when he got home from work. He looked very cute in his work clothes and glasses shoveling away.
Best Jack moment: There were a few. This morning he ran into the kitchen telling me that he had found 'A ANT!!!' I didn't really believe him, since it's mid-March and 2 feet of snow outside. But I followed him and he pointed out a spider. It was cute how his mind works and how he's relating concepts.
Tonight Jack went up to Mallie and gave her a big hug and told Tommy, "I love my sister'. For some reason, I decided to tell him that he is Mallie's brother and he's my son. He must have thought I was being funny and meant 'sun' so he continued the joke and started going around to all of us and calling us the names of innanimate objects. He said, "Mommy, you a basketball." "Daddy you a motorcycle", etc. It made us laugh.
Jack is also rereading, from memory, his favorite story. He says, "Scooby dooby moooo. Fa La la la baaaaa, whacka whacka quaaaack- the duck snored'.
Also, Jack has been 'helping' Mallie play basketball. He puts the ball in her lap for a split second, then takes it and shoots it 'for her'. If he makes it he celebrates for her and tells her, 'Mallie you make it!!!' If he misses, he turns to her to let her know 'Mallie, you miss it.'
Finally, in a potty training moment this afternoon, Jack was nowhere to be found. Tommy went upstairs and found him behind the shower curtain, reading his 'Little Grover Has to Go' potty book....and going in his diaper. This is considered a step in the right direction (that he was at least in the bathroom) when he went to the bathroom!!!
Jack sings the song 'Camptown Races' like this: 'Camptown Races sing this song: BOO-YA, BOO-YA. Camptown Races 5 miles long, Oh Boo-Ya Day'
Best Mallie moment: I probably have said this before....but Mallie is getting SASSY!!! She is a very pleasant little thing all day and happy, for the most part. But a whole different side of her comes out when Tommy gets home. He is rough with her and she LOVES it. He'll hold her hands and make her arms go up and down and dance and she thinks its the funniest thing. He tosses her around his lap, upside down and sideways, and she laughs. And he holds her above his head and screaches at her and she screaches back and smiles from ear to ear. She shouts at Jack and tries to get his attention or scolds him when he takes a toy from her. She is getting close to crawling and is going to be a force to be reckoned with when she does!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday, February 28th, 2008
Pinch me....It could not possibly be February. I'm looking out the window of the hotel bar here in Punta Cana, to a slighty cloudy, 80 degree day with palm trees and green water.
I don't even want to go through the format I normally use to blog because it will make me too sad. Thinking that I am missing the best Jack and Mallie moments each day that we're gone is making me queasy. But there have been lots of best Tommy moments to distract me.
One thing has become crystal clear to me. I love my life at home. Don't get me wrong. It is wonderful to enjoy fun in the sun in the middle of winter. But it would never tempt me to stay away for longer than 5-6 days. This little trip is going to get me by for a loooooooooong time. Where some people need trips like this sporatically throughout the year, I could never do it. I love my kids and what they do and how they sound and the way they feel. They are my favorite people to spend time with. I can only imagine Jack jumping into this pool at this resort with his water wings on like a little monkey. Or Mallie playing with beach toys on a beach towl under a palm tree with her little diaper sticking out of her two-piece bathing suit. It would have been so much fun....in a different way.
And I love my house and my stuff and my bed and just the thought of feeling my feet on my bedroom carpet while I unpack makes my stomach jump in excitement. It is true that trips like this probably help you to see these things. But it didn't take me long. I am so lucky.
I've also have a new-found respect for what Tommy does. He works really hard and is really smart and good at what he does. He's providing a really, really wonderful life for me and Jack and Mallie. For us to be able to go on a trip like this, on his income, and still live more than comfortably is remarkable.
That's all for now. I think I'll go back to the beach for a while.
I don't even want to go through the format I normally use to blog because it will make me too sad. Thinking that I am missing the best Jack and Mallie moments each day that we're gone is making me queasy. But there have been lots of best Tommy moments to distract me.
One thing has become crystal clear to me. I love my life at home. Don't get me wrong. It is wonderful to enjoy fun in the sun in the middle of winter. But it would never tempt me to stay away for longer than 5-6 days. This little trip is going to get me by for a loooooooooong time. Where some people need trips like this sporatically throughout the year, I could never do it. I love my kids and what they do and how they sound and the way they feel. They are my favorite people to spend time with. I can only imagine Jack jumping into this pool at this resort with his water wings on like a little monkey. Or Mallie playing with beach toys on a beach towl under a palm tree with her little diaper sticking out of her two-piece bathing suit. It would have been so much fun....in a different way.
And I love my house and my stuff and my bed and just the thought of feeling my feet on my bedroom carpet while I unpack makes my stomach jump in excitement. It is true that trips like this probably help you to see these things. But it didn't take me long. I am so lucky.
I've also have a new-found respect for what Tommy does. He works really hard and is really smart and good at what he does. He's providing a really, really wonderful life for me and Jack and Mallie. For us to be able to go on a trip like this, on his income, and still live more than comfortably is remarkable.
That's all for now. I think I'll go back to the beach for a while.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
Most grateful moment: When Jack woke up from his nap today. He didn't sleep for a long time, but I realized how much I got finished in the time he did. I picked up the whole house, did 2 loads of laundry, made all the favors for Dede's party, and made dinner.
One thing I learned today: when Mallie hits her head on something (falling onto the floor from sitting position this evening) she can hold her breath for a good 30 seconds and turn blue around her mouth, without passing out....and then recover in the next minute to the point where she is in hysterical laughter. Amazing. And slightly unnerving (the not breathing part).
One moment I wish I could redo: As I began writing tonight, Tommy was checking the reviews for the resort we'll be staying in Punta Cana next week. He noted several negative reviews (nothing horrible though) but then said that even the negative reviews raved about the beach. It's supposed to be beautiful. You lay out in lounge chairs under palm trees and people walk around to take food and drink orders. Why is this the moment I would redo???? Because we aren't leaving for 4 days and now it's going to seem like an eternity!!!
Best life tip: Make your house an 'open door policy' house. I realize some people can't handle people stopping by unexpectedly.... but I always wanted this for my own house. I love that people (especially my brothers-in-law) feel comfortable enough to stop in any night for food or just to hang out. It is always great to have them here. I remember Jill Sefl's house (the Novak house) growing up was like that. I always felt welcome and so at home there.
Biggest laugh of the day: This is kind of a long story, but worth the read!!!
Jimmy was over tonight and we were hanging out on the couch with the kids. Jimmy asked Jack who his favorite person in the whole world was. To which he replied "Papa"...without missing a beat. Then Jimmy asked who his 2nd favorite person in the whole world is. He stopped a second and said 'Grandma'. So, continuing (most likely to figure out where he fit into this whole picture), he asked "Jack, who is number 3?". Jack replied, "Daddy" (to which Tommy almost leapt off of the couch in glee that he was in front of me on this list). But Jack quickly added, "Mommy's 4". The fact that Jack knew what number we were on the count down baffled me....along with the fact that I was so far down on the list. It was truly hilarious. And depressing.
Best Tommy moment: Tommy fed Mallie her whole bowl of oatmeal and pears tonight for her dinner. He loves feeding her , but asked me to get it ready. I told him he'd have to do it because I was getting our dinner on the table. By the time he finished preparing this small bowl of food, 3 bowls were dirty, all of the cabinents in the kitchen were open, oatmeal was all over the counters and the faucet was running. The whole process took at least 5 minutes- as opposed to the under 1 minute it would have taken me. But it was entertaining to watch and cute that he was trying. This was the best Tommy moment, not because I like making fun of him- but because he was making an effort and it made me realize that I'm pretty efficient at that job. I think I'll do it for him next time.
Best Jack moment: Jack teaching Mallie how to dribble a basketball. Jack brought his big basketball up from the basement this afternoon and gave it to Mallie, who was sitting in her swing watching me make dinner. The ball is as big as she is and she just sat there staring at the huge sphere that was in her face all of a sudden. Jack instructed, "No, no, Mallie..... you have to dribble." SO he took it from her and showed her how to dribble, and then gave it back to her and watched, expecting her to miraculously get out of her swing and start dribbling th eball around the room. I think he got frustrated with the whole thing after a few minutes, and headed back in the basement to find some other toy to torture her with.
Best Mallie moment: When I changed Mallie into her jammies tonight. I took her clothes off and let her sit in her diaper on the couch. As soon as her clothes came off, she got ecstatic and started shimmying around on her butt. Her mouth was wide open in a huge smile. She is rarely without clothes and loves the freedom!!!
One thing I learned today: when Mallie hits her head on something (falling onto the floor from sitting position this evening) she can hold her breath for a good 30 seconds and turn blue around her mouth, without passing out....and then recover in the next minute to the point where she is in hysterical laughter. Amazing. And slightly unnerving (the not breathing part).
One moment I wish I could redo: As I began writing tonight, Tommy was checking the reviews for the resort we'll be staying in Punta Cana next week. He noted several negative reviews (nothing horrible though) but then said that even the negative reviews raved about the beach. It's supposed to be beautiful. You lay out in lounge chairs under palm trees and people walk around to take food and drink orders. Why is this the moment I would redo???? Because we aren't leaving for 4 days and now it's going to seem like an eternity!!!
Best life tip: Make your house an 'open door policy' house. I realize some people can't handle people stopping by unexpectedly.... but I always wanted this for my own house. I love that people (especially my brothers-in-law) feel comfortable enough to stop in any night for food or just to hang out. It is always great to have them here. I remember Jill Sefl's house (the Novak house) growing up was like that. I always felt welcome and so at home there.
Biggest laugh of the day: This is kind of a long story, but worth the read!!!
Jimmy was over tonight and we were hanging out on the couch with the kids. Jimmy asked Jack who his favorite person in the whole world was. To which he replied "Papa"...without missing a beat. Then Jimmy asked who his 2nd favorite person in the whole world is. He stopped a second and said 'Grandma'. So, continuing (most likely to figure out where he fit into this whole picture), he asked "Jack, who is number 3?". Jack replied, "Daddy" (to which Tommy almost leapt off of the couch in glee that he was in front of me on this list). But Jack quickly added, "Mommy's 4". The fact that Jack knew what number we were on the count down baffled me....along with the fact that I was so far down on the list. It was truly hilarious. And depressing.
Best Tommy moment: Tommy fed Mallie her whole bowl of oatmeal and pears tonight for her dinner. He loves feeding her , but asked me to get it ready. I told him he'd have to do it because I was getting our dinner on the table. By the time he finished preparing this small bowl of food, 3 bowls were dirty, all of the cabinents in the kitchen were open, oatmeal was all over the counters and the faucet was running. The whole process took at least 5 minutes- as opposed to the under 1 minute it would have taken me. But it was entertaining to watch and cute that he was trying. This was the best Tommy moment, not because I like making fun of him- but because he was making an effort and it made me realize that I'm pretty efficient at that job. I think I'll do it for him next time.
Best Jack moment: Jack teaching Mallie how to dribble a basketball. Jack brought his big basketball up from the basement this afternoon and gave it to Mallie, who was sitting in her swing watching me make dinner. The ball is as big as she is and she just sat there staring at the huge sphere that was in her face all of a sudden. Jack instructed, "No, no, Mallie..... you have to dribble." SO he took it from her and showed her how to dribble, and then gave it back to her and watched, expecting her to miraculously get out of her swing and start dribbling th eball around the room. I think he got frustrated with the whole thing after a few minutes, and headed back in the basement to find some other toy to torture her with.
Best Mallie moment: When I changed Mallie into her jammies tonight. I took her clothes off and let her sit in her diaper on the couch. As soon as her clothes came off, she got ecstatic and started shimmying around on her butt. Her mouth was wide open in a huge smile. She is rarely without clothes and loves the freedom!!!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
Most grateful moment: Driving in to the parking lot at the rec center, after a week of pink eye and ear infections in our house. It felt like we were among the living again, back into our routine- which I was really enjoying before the kids contracted their germs! My workout was my most grateful moment because it affected my mood for the rest of the day.
One thing I learned today: That I am capable of wasting hours, upon hours putzing around on the computer. I got both the kids sleeping this afternoon at the same time- which was the perfect opportunity to shower. Instead I made the mistake of checking my email and got sucked into cyberspace for 2 hours, with nothing to show for it. Huge waste of time.
One moment I wish I could redo: I wish I hadn't attacked Tommy for leaving Jack's diaper on the floor after giving him a bath. I have a habit of letting my mouth speak before weighing the consequences of what it is saying. The problem is, I know that this is a habit and I am not doing anything to stop it- which causes issues that could easily be avoided.
Best life tip of the day: a sprinkle of garlic salt on a grilled cheese sandwich makes a world of difference.
Biggest laugh of the day: I think was Mallie's! She was laughing harder than I have seen her in a long time while I was tickling her tummy with my nose. Unfortunately, when I do this, along with laughing hysterically, she also grabs as much of my hair as her little fists can hold and hangs on for dear life. Ouch! But it's worth it to hear that little laugh!
Best Tommy moment: Tommy picked up his new glasses today after work. He'll wear them for distances (driving, watching TV, etc.) But he is self-concious about them. He looks really cute in them though!!!
Best Jack moment: Jack was shooting his basketball tonight and threw it to Tommy for him to shoot it. Tommy missed the shot, but Jack still got so excited and threw his arms up in the air and began to yell "Yea!", but he did this all so quickly that his feet came out from under him. He slammed himself on the ground with such force from standing position- he was there one minute and gone the next. Tommy and I both shot up and said 'Are you OK!?' to which he replied, laughing, "Yeah, that funny Mommy! I hit the floor".
Best Mallie moment: Mallie FINALLY started eating her baby food with no effort and actually opening her mouth for a spoonful (instead of my prying it open with the spoon!) It was so shocking to me- as we've been trying to get her to do this for 3 months now! She ate 2 bowl fulls of oatmeal and pears throughout the day. I'm hoping this gets her into a little more of a rigid schedule with her eating and sleeping- now that she's almost 7 months old!!!
One thing I learned today: That I am capable of wasting hours, upon hours putzing around on the computer. I got both the kids sleeping this afternoon at the same time- which was the perfect opportunity to shower. Instead I made the mistake of checking my email and got sucked into cyberspace for 2 hours, with nothing to show for it. Huge waste of time.
One moment I wish I could redo: I wish I hadn't attacked Tommy for leaving Jack's diaper on the floor after giving him a bath. I have a habit of letting my mouth speak before weighing the consequences of what it is saying. The problem is, I know that this is a habit and I am not doing anything to stop it- which causes issues that could easily be avoided.
Best life tip of the day: a sprinkle of garlic salt on a grilled cheese sandwich makes a world of difference.
Biggest laugh of the day: I think was Mallie's! She was laughing harder than I have seen her in a long time while I was tickling her tummy with my nose. Unfortunately, when I do this, along with laughing hysterically, she also grabs as much of my hair as her little fists can hold and hangs on for dear life. Ouch! But it's worth it to hear that little laugh!
Best Tommy moment: Tommy picked up his new glasses today after work. He'll wear them for distances (driving, watching TV, etc.) But he is self-concious about them. He looks really cute in them though!!!
Best Jack moment: Jack was shooting his basketball tonight and threw it to Tommy for him to shoot it. Tommy missed the shot, but Jack still got so excited and threw his arms up in the air and began to yell "Yea!", but he did this all so quickly that his feet came out from under him. He slammed himself on the ground with such force from standing position- he was there one minute and gone the next. Tommy and I both shot up and said 'Are you OK!?' to which he replied, laughing, "Yeah, that funny Mommy! I hit the floor".
Best Mallie moment: Mallie FINALLY started eating her baby food with no effort and actually opening her mouth for a spoonful (instead of my prying it open with the spoon!) It was so shocking to me- as we've been trying to get her to do this for 3 months now! She ate 2 bowl fulls of oatmeal and pears throughout the day. I'm hoping this gets her into a little more of a rigid schedule with her eating and sleeping- now that she's almost 7 months old!!!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Monday, February 18th, 2008
Most grateful moment of the day: I have a few actually today. I got to spend the morning driving around, drinking coffee, shopping and laughing with my sister and the kids for a couple of hours this morning- which is always fun. We were even kind of productive in our outing, which was an added (but unnecessary) bonus! Then I got to go shopping, all by myself with my grandma and my aunt Di. I felt like I was 7 years old, going on one of our famous special trips. It was great to get them alone and browse around the mall. That, too, turned out to be a very successful shopping trip for my grandma! Then, I got to hang out with Timmy, Jimmy and Tom and Mary Gilbride tonight. They all came over, some for dinner and some after to hang out and see the kids. It was a really relaxing and fun day.
One thing I learned today: That there are excellent baby-sitters out there still!!! Jack's 'friend' Sarah, who he met at his playschool this winter is a senior at Rocky River. She and Jack really clicked and she came over to stay with the kids while I went out this afternoon. Jack woke up from his nap after I got home, yelling for Sarah and was very disappointed to find me waiting for him. Everything went very smoothly while I was gone. And 5 minutes after she left, she called to tell me that she had changed Mallie's outfit because she had gone through her diaper and washed out her clothes and hung them up to dry! This is more than I would have done!!!! SHe's great!
One moment I wish I could redo: I wish I hadn't tried to correct how Tommy was disciplining Jack tonight at dinner, in front of Jack! Jack definately picked up on it and after I said, "No Tommy.....'- Jack repeated me and shook his finger at his dad and said 'No Tommy!' Opppppps.
Best life tip of the day: As much as it pains me to endorse a large retail chain over a smaller craft store- it is worth it to go to JoAnn Fabrics for your crafting needs over Pat Catan's! Especially when lugging 2 kids with you.
Biggest laugh of the day: (One was definately the moment I wish I could redo, above). But while we shopped at Pat Catan's, Jack heard one of the customer service phones on the counter. He started yelling at the top of his lungs, "THE PHONE'S RIIIIINING!!!! YOUR PHONE'S RIIIINGING!!!!'. It was so embarassing, but also hilarious.
Best Tommy moment: I feel like I have not seen or heard much of Tommy today, so I'm not sure. It's cold out tonight, so it'll be nice that I can snuggle him tonight to keep warm....unless I pass out before he comes to bed- which will definatley happen.....so I'm not sure!?
Best Jack moment: Mallie was sleeping on me while the Gilbride's were here tonight and Jack came over and did a quick version of 'Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep' followed by a quick "Twinkle, twinkle, little star' for her, and gave her a kiss, which is his nighttime routine.
Also, after 'grabbing himself' several times in front of everyone tonight, Tommy mentioned that he might need a new diaper. So I picked him up to carry him in the other room to investigate this matter further, in an more inconspicuous venue. However, as I walked across the room, he started asking me loudly, 'Mommy, I have poo?'- which really just defeated the whole purpose. Tommy's dad thought that was pretty funny.
Best Mallie moment: When I got back from shopping for a few hours this afternoon, she was sleeping. When she woke up she was especially happy to see me and I felt like I hadn't seen her in a few days! So we had fun playing together this afternoon. I truly do not know how I'm going to leave her (either of them really!) for 6 days. I'm going to be so sick to see her!
One thing I learned today: That there are excellent baby-sitters out there still!!! Jack's 'friend' Sarah, who he met at his playschool this winter is a senior at Rocky River. She and Jack really clicked and she came over to stay with the kids while I went out this afternoon. Jack woke up from his nap after I got home, yelling for Sarah and was very disappointed to find me waiting for him. Everything went very smoothly while I was gone. And 5 minutes after she left, she called to tell me that she had changed Mallie's outfit because she had gone through her diaper and washed out her clothes and hung them up to dry! This is more than I would have done!!!! SHe's great!
One moment I wish I could redo: I wish I hadn't tried to correct how Tommy was disciplining Jack tonight at dinner, in front of Jack! Jack definately picked up on it and after I said, "No Tommy.....'- Jack repeated me and shook his finger at his dad and said 'No Tommy!' Opppppps.
Best life tip of the day: As much as it pains me to endorse a large retail chain over a smaller craft store- it is worth it to go to JoAnn Fabrics for your crafting needs over Pat Catan's! Especially when lugging 2 kids with you.
Biggest laugh of the day: (One was definately the moment I wish I could redo, above). But while we shopped at Pat Catan's, Jack heard one of the customer service phones on the counter. He started yelling at the top of his lungs, "THE PHONE'S RIIIIINING!!!! YOUR PHONE'S RIIIINGING!!!!'. It was so embarassing, but also hilarious.
Best Tommy moment: I feel like I have not seen or heard much of Tommy today, so I'm not sure. It's cold out tonight, so it'll be nice that I can snuggle him tonight to keep warm....unless I pass out before he comes to bed- which will definatley happen.....so I'm not sure!?
Best Jack moment: Mallie was sleeping on me while the Gilbride's were here tonight and Jack came over and did a quick version of 'Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep' followed by a quick "Twinkle, twinkle, little star' for her, and gave her a kiss, which is his nighttime routine.
Also, after 'grabbing himself' several times in front of everyone tonight, Tommy mentioned that he might need a new diaper. So I picked him up to carry him in the other room to investigate this matter further, in an more inconspicuous venue. However, as I walked across the room, he started asking me loudly, 'Mommy, I have poo?'- which really just defeated the whole purpose. Tommy's dad thought that was pretty funny.
Best Mallie moment: When I got back from shopping for a few hours this afternoon, she was sleeping. When she woke up she was especially happy to see me and I felt like I hadn't seen her in a few days! So we had fun playing together this afternoon. I truly do not know how I'm going to leave her (either of them really!) for 6 days. I'm going to be so sick to see her!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Sunday, February 17th, 2008
Most grateful moment of the day: Going to church. I was in a really bad mood this morning and almost blew it off. I took Mallie and we sat with Dede. It is always a treat to see how happy Dede is to see Mallie (and me, I guess.....or am I just kidding myself.... yes, I am.....) And I ended up needing the time to sit and think about what I'm doing wrong in different situations and how I can change to make life easier. And how fortunate I am in the grand scheme of things....and even in the not-so-grand scheme of things. I'm lucky and take things for granted and it was good to sit there and think about that.
One thing I learned today: That the presidential election of 2008 is exciting people everywhere. I think it is going to really bring people together, more than it will separate people. We are looking candidates who are intelligent and practical (for the most part) and I think this country is excited to pull out of the cloud it's been under for 8 years. It's exciting.
One moment I wish I could redo: Getting into 'it' AGAIN with Tommy this morning. After our rough day yesterday, I have no idea why I would engage in conversation over the same topic when our tempers were still short.
Best life tip of the day: Do not make risotto unless you have an full day to commit to it. I thought it was an easy dish to prepare. After an hour of coddling it, speaking sweetly to it, caressing its ego and whispering sweet nothings into its ear, it was finished....and not all that impressive in the taste department. Won't be doing that again anytime soon.
Biggest laugh of the day: At breakfast at my parent's house: Emily was talking about almost going to the Monster Truck Rally last night at the Q. She said to fit in down there would have involved a trip to Unique's for a Harley Davidson Shirt and acid wash jeans, along with blacking out a couple of teeth.... and then renting some children to 'mishandle'. I've been laughing about this one all day.
Best Tommy moment: I came in from breakfast from my mom and dad's with Mallie to find Tommy washing the dishes. He had also done several loads of laundry, cleaned under the couch and paid the bills. He then helped me organize the attic by moving the bins that I have been waiting and waiting to move up there. I picked up the upstairs, cleaned the bathroom and went grocery shopping- thus creating an organized and CLEAN household for the first time in months. It's amazing what a little team work can do. He intiated it though and it paid off.
Best Jack moment: Jack has been a pistol today. He's torn through laundry baskets, turned off the computer, thrown the remote multiple times, hit Mallie, smacked Tommy's computer, and just generally defied us at every turn. After he hit Tommy for some reason this evening, I looked at him and said "What did you just do?".... and he matter of factly, turned to me and answered "I hit Daddy"- as though he was thinking, "I mean....you were sitting right there watching me.....why are you asking?" I had to keep a straight face while I scolded him, while Tommy hid behind a Clifford book shaking with laughter.
Best Mallie moment: I got to spend a lot of one-on-one time with Mallie today (all weekend, really!). Today, after church I took her to my parents' for breakfast with Claire and Drew and Emily. (Tommy stayed home with Jack because he has pink eye and an ear infection). Mallie was wearing her cool jean skirt and striped tights with her new rain boots. I stood her up on the tray of the high chair and she just started looking around and smiling. Everyone was looking at her and laughing and talking to her at once. And I don't think she could believe that she was getting all of this undivided attention. SHe is not used to it, but she definately warmed up to it quickly! She is very, very rarely the only kid around- and is always upstaged by her loud brother. But today it was the 'Bird Show' and she was digging it.
check it out: http://emily-alice.blogspot.com/
One thing I learned today: That the presidential election of 2008 is exciting people everywhere. I think it is going to really bring people together, more than it will separate people. We are looking candidates who are intelligent and practical (for the most part) and I think this country is excited to pull out of the cloud it's been under for 8 years. It's exciting.
One moment I wish I could redo: Getting into 'it' AGAIN with Tommy this morning. After our rough day yesterday, I have no idea why I would engage in conversation over the same topic when our tempers were still short.
Best life tip of the day: Do not make risotto unless you have an full day to commit to it. I thought it was an easy dish to prepare. After an hour of coddling it, speaking sweetly to it, caressing its ego and whispering sweet nothings into its ear, it was finished....and not all that impressive in the taste department. Won't be doing that again anytime soon.
Biggest laugh of the day: At breakfast at my parent's house: Emily was talking about almost going to the Monster Truck Rally last night at the Q. She said to fit in down there would have involved a trip to Unique's for a Harley Davidson Shirt and acid wash jeans, along with blacking out a couple of teeth.... and then renting some children to 'mishandle'. I've been laughing about this one all day.
Best Tommy moment: I came in from breakfast from my mom and dad's with Mallie to find Tommy washing the dishes. He had also done several loads of laundry, cleaned under the couch and paid the bills. He then helped me organize the attic by moving the bins that I have been waiting and waiting to move up there. I picked up the upstairs, cleaned the bathroom and went grocery shopping- thus creating an organized and CLEAN household for the first time in months. It's amazing what a little team work can do. He intiated it though and it paid off.
Best Jack moment: Jack has been a pistol today. He's torn through laundry baskets, turned off the computer, thrown the remote multiple times, hit Mallie, smacked Tommy's computer, and just generally defied us at every turn. After he hit Tommy for some reason this evening, I looked at him and said "What did you just do?".... and he matter of factly, turned to me and answered "I hit Daddy"- as though he was thinking, "I mean....you were sitting right there watching me.....why are you asking?" I had to keep a straight face while I scolded him, while Tommy hid behind a Clifford book shaking with laughter.
Best Mallie moment: I got to spend a lot of one-on-one time with Mallie today (all weekend, really!). Today, after church I took her to my parents' for breakfast with Claire and Drew and Emily. (Tommy stayed home with Jack because he has pink eye and an ear infection). Mallie was wearing her cool jean skirt and striped tights with her new rain boots. I stood her up on the tray of the high chair and she just started looking around and smiling. Everyone was looking at her and laughing and talking to her at once. And I don't think she could believe that she was getting all of this undivided attention. SHe is not used to it, but she definately warmed up to it quickly! She is very, very rarely the only kid around- and is always upstaged by her loud brother. But today it was the 'Bird Show' and she was digging it.
check it out: http://emily-alice.blogspot.com/
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Saturday, February 16th, 2008
Most grateful moment of the day: Working out this morning made a huge difference in my overall mood today. I haven't been to the gym in a week and almost passed it up this morning. But instead I went to my spinning class and felt like a million bucks afterward.
One thing I learned today: To trust your instincts. Jack had been complaining about his ears last night. He woke up an hour after going to bed squealing, the same way as he had when he had his other ear infection. When he woke up this morning, he didn't say anything about them. Tommy told me that I was 'overreacting'. But I had a gut feeling that something was wrong. I took him in to the doctor and, sure enough, both of his ears were infected.
One moment I wish I could redo: Saying mean things to Tommy in front of the kids. I would have said the mean things....just not for them to hear. It's not good for them.
Best life tip of the day: Don't have your child's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese.
Biggest laugh of the day: In the dressing room at Old Navy with my sister.... making comments about her bra. For some reason, this was very funny to me.
Best Tommy moment: When he left the house.
Best Jack moment: At the doctor's office, Jack was asking all the nurses 'Where's Dr. Skoch?' and being very chatty with everyone. They all got a huge kick out of him. Also, on my way home from shopping, I talked to Jack and asked him how the birthday party he went to was. He told me all about the cake and pizza. His little voice is so sweet on the phone.
Best Mallie moment: Mallie slept through our entire shopping trip today. She was very accomodating. Also, when Claire got here to pick us up, she was very chatting, doing her low growling that turns into and all-out shout. She's very sassy and funny.
One thing I learned today: To trust your instincts. Jack had been complaining about his ears last night. He woke up an hour after going to bed squealing, the same way as he had when he had his other ear infection. When he woke up this morning, he didn't say anything about them. Tommy told me that I was 'overreacting'. But I had a gut feeling that something was wrong. I took him in to the doctor and, sure enough, both of his ears were infected.
One moment I wish I could redo: Saying mean things to Tommy in front of the kids. I would have said the mean things....just not for them to hear. It's not good for them.
Best life tip of the day: Don't have your child's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese.
Biggest laugh of the day: In the dressing room at Old Navy with my sister.... making comments about her bra. For some reason, this was very funny to me.
Best Tommy moment: When he left the house.
Best Jack moment: At the doctor's office, Jack was asking all the nurses 'Where's Dr. Skoch?' and being very chatty with everyone. They all got a huge kick out of him. Also, on my way home from shopping, I talked to Jack and asked him how the birthday party he went to was. He told me all about the cake and pizza. His little voice is so sweet on the phone.
Best Mallie moment: Mallie slept through our entire shopping trip today. She was very accomodating. Also, when Claire got here to pick us up, she was very chatting, doing her low growling that turns into and all-out shout. She's very sassy and funny.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Friday, February 15th, 2008
Lots of time to think today, which is good and bad- as you'll see from the following thoughts:
Thinking about how obsessed I am with death and what would happen if someone close to me died. It's obviously a horrible thought and shows how neurotic I am....but thinking about how I think about it tells even more about me.... like, if I'm spending this much time thinking about this, what am I missing out on thinking about (I honestly can't even imagine)...... and how are these thoughts of death affecting me in unknown ways (i.e. being controlling, impulsive, a loud mouth, attention-getting, etc.) Also, sitting upstairs in Jack's room tonight with Mallie and Tommy, thinking about what would happen if my sister died... and then realizing that Mallie, or Jack or Tommy could die too. Oh crap! That had never occurred to me before. I mean, what the HELL!!!???? There is definately something wrong with me. Spending a quiet Friday night at home with my family and thinking about how I'll be acting at the funeral...... whoa.....way more screwed up than I thought. ewwww. I'm grossing myself out.
Then I switched gears to thinking about how I hadn't showered all day....this is most days now. I either shower at night or every other day. It is so funny how routinely I bathed in my school years. I HAD to shower every morning or I felt like some sort of cave person. But now, I make do with 5-6 showers a week (even when I work out!) And to be honest, I do not look much different than when I was showering all the time. Except I've gained more weight. So maybe the showers wash off pounds. But, really, it's just too time-consuming and too much effort to think about it let alone go through with it. So, I usually don't.
Most grateful moment: Tommy agreed to meet us for lunch this morning. This was a big deal because Mallie has had pink eye and an ear infection all week, so we've been stuck inside. I wasn't ready to go to a kid-oriented outing, since I'm not sure how she's feeling and Jack could be contagious with some unsurfaced bug.... so meeting Tommy was the perfect thing. We had a nice lunch out!
One thing I learned: That there are still people in America that cannot think about voting for either a black, nor a woman for president. What the hell is wrong with people? It truly amazes me that people think that, let alone say it out loud.
One moment I wish I could redo: This morning I was trying to chisel time out to play with Jack. We were trying to make a mailbox for him and he was really excited. But I got caught up changing Mallie, having to take him to the potty and then feeding her. It just always feels like there are 100000000 things standing in the way of spending the time I want to with him. Some are unimportant, but in this case I had to get them. We ended up playing later, but it was really frustrating for me.
Best life tip: Keep in touch withthe people you love- at almost any cost. The extra time I've had these days to ist around and think always lead me back to relationships that I am sick about losing. Some of these are Fina, Kym, Pat, and Jay. Some are through my own fault, some are through both mine and theirs. But regardless, it's always hurtful to think about how different my life would be, how much fuller and grateful (not that it already is not!!!) with them here. It'll be something I'll always regret.
Biggest laugh of the day: The biggest laugh of the day was actually Jack's. We were playing football in the basement. He has taken to making me wear these ridiculous goggles while we play. We started a pattern of me throwing the ball to him across the room. He'd catch it (or pick it up) and run toward me until he got really close and then whip it at my face. I would act scared and make a Jerry Lewis "eeeeeeewwwww' sound. The more this happened, the harder he would laugh. To the point where he could not run in a straight line toward me or mouscle up the strength to throw the ball. It was infectious....and I must look hilarious wearing those stupid goggles.
Best Tommy moment: Mallie had a fussy evening tonight and was giving TOmmy an especially hard time every time he had her. Sometimes he has a tendency to rush to calm her then put her down in a swing or on the floor instead of just holding her for a while and I think she senses that. I took her from him after dinner and calmed her down and then just held her for a while and she fell asleep on me. Afterwards, I was doing the dishes and he came up and hugged me and told me that I really had a way with the bird.... It was really nice to be recognized and appreciated.
Best Jack moment: There has been a basket full of laundry travelling around our house for 3 days now, waiting patiently to be folded and put away. This afternoon, while my dad was here, I finally got a chance to fold it and brought it upstiars to be put away later. After dinner Tommy took Jack to play in his room while I did the dishes and he ended up falling asleep on Jack's floor while he was playing (you can see where this is going). WHen the dishes were done, I went upstairs to see my laundry scattered around the upstairs landing and hallway. I got so annoyed, saying "This is obnoxious. You're up here sleeping while he's tearing apart my laundry that took me 3 days to fold." As I turned to walk back downstairs I added "I mean, it's all over the freakin'..........' And as a trailed off, I heard Jack finish my sentence: "Fyoor!!!" he said in the same tone and volume. Tommy and I just burst out laughing.
Best Mallie moment: Mallie is in to giving bear hugs. I can't tell if it's when she's happy or sleepy.... but there are times that I am holding her in one arm, upright and she just folds up and hugs my shoulder so tight, pulling her little knees up as high as she can and nuzzling into my neck. It's such a cozy feeling and sometimes she'll start growling into my neck. Other times she just breathes really heavy in and out from her little nose. It's my favorite!!!
Thinking about how obsessed I am with death and what would happen if someone close to me died. It's obviously a horrible thought and shows how neurotic I am....but thinking about how I think about it tells even more about me.... like, if I'm spending this much time thinking about this, what am I missing out on thinking about (I honestly can't even imagine)...... and how are these thoughts of death affecting me in unknown ways (i.e. being controlling, impulsive, a loud mouth, attention-getting, etc.) Also, sitting upstairs in Jack's room tonight with Mallie and Tommy, thinking about what would happen if my sister died... and then realizing that Mallie, or Jack or Tommy could die too. Oh crap! That had never occurred to me before. I mean, what the HELL!!!???? There is definately something wrong with me. Spending a quiet Friday night at home with my family and thinking about how I'll be acting at the funeral...... whoa.....way more screwed up than I thought. ewwww. I'm grossing myself out.
Then I switched gears to thinking about how I hadn't showered all day....this is most days now. I either shower at night or every other day. It is so funny how routinely I bathed in my school years. I HAD to shower every morning or I felt like some sort of cave person. But now, I make do with 5-6 showers a week (even when I work out!) And to be honest, I do not look much different than when I was showering all the time. Except I've gained more weight. So maybe the showers wash off pounds. But, really, it's just too time-consuming and too much effort to think about it let alone go through with it. So, I usually don't.
Most grateful moment: Tommy agreed to meet us for lunch this morning. This was a big deal because Mallie has had pink eye and an ear infection all week, so we've been stuck inside. I wasn't ready to go to a kid-oriented outing, since I'm not sure how she's feeling and Jack could be contagious with some unsurfaced bug.... so meeting Tommy was the perfect thing. We had a nice lunch out!
One thing I learned: That there are still people in America that cannot think about voting for either a black, nor a woman for president. What the hell is wrong with people? It truly amazes me that people think that, let alone say it out loud.
One moment I wish I could redo: This morning I was trying to chisel time out to play with Jack. We were trying to make a mailbox for him and he was really excited. But I got caught up changing Mallie, having to take him to the potty and then feeding her. It just always feels like there are 100000000 things standing in the way of spending the time I want to with him. Some are unimportant, but in this case I had to get them. We ended up playing later, but it was really frustrating for me.
Best life tip: Keep in touch withthe people you love- at almost any cost. The extra time I've had these days to ist around and think always lead me back to relationships that I am sick about losing. Some of these are Fina, Kym, Pat, and Jay. Some are through my own fault, some are through both mine and theirs. But regardless, it's always hurtful to think about how different my life would be, how much fuller and grateful (not that it already is not!!!) with them here. It'll be something I'll always regret.
Biggest laugh of the day: The biggest laugh of the day was actually Jack's. We were playing football in the basement. He has taken to making me wear these ridiculous goggles while we play. We started a pattern of me throwing the ball to him across the room. He'd catch it (or pick it up) and run toward me until he got really close and then whip it at my face. I would act scared and make a Jerry Lewis "eeeeeeewwwww' sound. The more this happened, the harder he would laugh. To the point where he could not run in a straight line toward me or mouscle up the strength to throw the ball. It was infectious....and I must look hilarious wearing those stupid goggles.
Best Tommy moment: Mallie had a fussy evening tonight and was giving TOmmy an especially hard time every time he had her. Sometimes he has a tendency to rush to calm her then put her down in a swing or on the floor instead of just holding her for a while and I think she senses that. I took her from him after dinner and calmed her down and then just held her for a while and she fell asleep on me. Afterwards, I was doing the dishes and he came up and hugged me and told me that I really had a way with the bird.... It was really nice to be recognized and appreciated.
Best Jack moment: There has been a basket full of laundry travelling around our house for 3 days now, waiting patiently to be folded and put away. This afternoon, while my dad was here, I finally got a chance to fold it and brought it upstiars to be put away later. After dinner Tommy took Jack to play in his room while I did the dishes and he ended up falling asleep on Jack's floor while he was playing (you can see where this is going). WHen the dishes were done, I went upstairs to see my laundry scattered around the upstairs landing and hallway. I got so annoyed, saying "This is obnoxious. You're up here sleeping while he's tearing apart my laundry that took me 3 days to fold." As I turned to walk back downstairs I added "I mean, it's all over the freakin'..........' And as a trailed off, I heard Jack finish my sentence: "Fyoor!!!" he said in the same tone and volume. Tommy and I just burst out laughing.
Best Mallie moment: Mallie is in to giving bear hugs. I can't tell if it's when she's happy or sleepy.... but there are times that I am holding her in one arm, upright and she just folds up and hugs my shoulder so tight, pulling her little knees up as high as she can and nuzzling into my neck. It's such a cozy feeling and sometimes she'll start growling into my neck. Other times she just breathes really heavy in and out from her little nose. It's my favorite!!!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
February 14th, 2008
Whoa! 3 months without blogging. That is really not good for me. I need this time to unload, make sense, sort out, record. Every day since I stopped blogging 3 months ago, I have thought about it many, many times a day. Something is always happening that I feel I need to write down to remember or get off of my chest. The other thing I realized in that time is how much blogging means for my relationships. It allows me to think of the positive at the end of an overwhelming day and focus on that to feel fresh the next day. It also allows Tommy to read it and feel a little bit more appreciated than he otherwise would. Writing it at the end of the day is easier than taking the time out to say it all the time....and seeing it in writing makes it feel more important, too. I'm back and serious about blogging again. So much has happened in the last 3 months that I know is lost forever!!!!
Most grateful moment (of the last 3 months): Jack has learned to say 'I love you'. It's the best to hear it out of his little mouth. It's worth all the pain, annoyance, frustration when his little voice says 'I yuv you Mommy'..... melts my heart.
One thing I learned (in the last 3 months): ALWAYS have a plan of where you will be, with whom and when for the holidays and stick to it. Last minute changes cause unbalance in the very intricate schedule that juggles eact numbers of seconds that we spend with each family. Above this rule I have also learned to: SIMPLIFY the holidays. Next Christmas will include a lot of family time at our own house...alone....with the kids. The carting, packing, unloading, etc. is stressful and the fighting that stems from it completely cancels out the true meaning of what the holidays should be.
One moment I wish I could redo (in the last 3 months): Anytime I lose my temper and yell at Jack. I hate the way I feel after raising my voice to him- even if he doesn't seem to care (which he really does not). I need to remember that I need to be the one in control and yelling demonstrates how close I am to losing it.
Best life tip: Keep yourself busy in the winter. Last winter was awful. I was sick being pregnant and we stayed in all the time. The time dragged and I ended up feeling depressed and unproductive. This winter, we are in 2 playgroups, we go to the new rec center 3 times a week, we have story time, Tommy has 2 basketball games a week, etc. We always have something on the calendar and it makes time fly!
Biggest laugh (of the last 3 months): We were sitting on the couch a few weeks ago and Jack burped. He looked at us and said "I burp!", to which we replied, "Well, what do you say?". He answered "EXCUSE ME EVeeBODeeee!" This may not seem terribly funny now. But Tommy and I both burst out laughing and Jack followed. Now he says this everytime he burps, just to get a laugh, even if no one gets it.
Best Tommy moment (of the last 3 months): Has been just watching Tommy and I grow so attached to Mallie. I'll notice both of us just staring at her and smiling while she's playing on the floor. She's so cute and funny. We've always loved her...but I always worried I wouldn't feel as strong a bond to her as I do with Jack. It's turning out that's not a problem for Tommy or I!!!
Best Jack moment (of the last 3 months): Jack is really interacting with Mallie. He calls her Birdence and Bird, just like us. And he loves showing her when he goes potty, or makes a basket, or runs fast. She's his little go-to girl when he has something important to say or do. He's very sweet with her and runs in her room when he hears her in the morning. He's a wonderful big brother.
Best Mallie moment (of the last 3 months): Mallie started sitting up right near her 6 months b-day and she's been a new kid. She can really look around and reach for toys now. She's so content and interested in her surroundings. She loves sitting in the middle of the living room floor while Jack runs around like a mad person playing basketball. She feels like she's in the action and she's always yelling at him as she's gumming whatever toy she has in her grasp "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" It's so cute.
Most grateful moment (of the last 3 months): Jack has learned to say 'I love you'. It's the best to hear it out of his little mouth. It's worth all the pain, annoyance, frustration when his little voice says 'I yuv you Mommy'..... melts my heart.
One thing I learned (in the last 3 months): ALWAYS have a plan of where you will be, with whom and when for the holidays and stick to it. Last minute changes cause unbalance in the very intricate schedule that juggles eact numbers of seconds that we spend with each family. Above this rule I have also learned to: SIMPLIFY the holidays. Next Christmas will include a lot of family time at our own house...alone....with the kids. The carting, packing, unloading, etc. is stressful and the fighting that stems from it completely cancels out the true meaning of what the holidays should be.
One moment I wish I could redo (in the last 3 months): Anytime I lose my temper and yell at Jack. I hate the way I feel after raising my voice to him- even if he doesn't seem to care (which he really does not). I need to remember that I need to be the one in control and yelling demonstrates how close I am to losing it.
Best life tip: Keep yourself busy in the winter. Last winter was awful. I was sick being pregnant and we stayed in all the time. The time dragged and I ended up feeling depressed and unproductive. This winter, we are in 2 playgroups, we go to the new rec center 3 times a week, we have story time, Tommy has 2 basketball games a week, etc. We always have something on the calendar and it makes time fly!
Biggest laugh (of the last 3 months): We were sitting on the couch a few weeks ago and Jack burped. He looked at us and said "I burp!", to which we replied, "Well, what do you say?". He answered "EXCUSE ME EVeeBODeeee!" This may not seem terribly funny now. But Tommy and I both burst out laughing and Jack followed. Now he says this everytime he burps, just to get a laugh, even if no one gets it.
Best Tommy moment (of the last 3 months): Has been just watching Tommy and I grow so attached to Mallie. I'll notice both of us just staring at her and smiling while she's playing on the floor. She's so cute and funny. We've always loved her...but I always worried I wouldn't feel as strong a bond to her as I do with Jack. It's turning out that's not a problem for Tommy or I!!!
Best Jack moment (of the last 3 months): Jack is really interacting with Mallie. He calls her Birdence and Bird, just like us. And he loves showing her when he goes potty, or makes a basket, or runs fast. She's his little go-to girl when he has something important to say or do. He's very sweet with her and runs in her room when he hears her in the morning. He's a wonderful big brother.
Best Mallie moment (of the last 3 months): Mallie started sitting up right near her 6 months b-day and she's been a new kid. She can really look around and reach for toys now. She's so content and interested in her surroundings. She loves sitting in the middle of the living room floor while Jack runs around like a mad person playing basketball. She feels like she's in the action and she's always yelling at him as she's gumming whatever toy she has in her grasp "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" It's so cute.
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